These are the years, they say. The ones that are precious and special and will be gone too soon and they are right, they really are. They are also the years when you experience a tiredness like you have never known before and find yourself more overwhelmed with what seems so simple than you could ever have imagined.
I see you. Looking frazzled. Looking tired, you hands literally full of children. I see you and I know. I know how it feels. The joy and the grind all rolled into one very long day and I want you to know it’s ok for
it to be like this. It’s ok that you aren’t loving every minute, that some days you just want to walk away and have a day off. It’s fine that you’re doing your best and that sometimes your best is not everything that others may think it should be. In fact, it’s ok that your best isn’t even everything that you think it should be. It’s your best and it’s good enough. Some days, good enough is as much as you can expect. You don’t have to be superwoman every day. You actually don’t have to be superwoman at all. People will judge you, think you’re doing it wrong. You’re not. You’re doing it your way and your children won’t know there were other ways and they won’t judge. They will think you are superwoman.
Take a moment. Just every now and again to tell yourself, out loud even, that you’re doing your best. That you’re doing ok or even that it’s a bit rubbish today/this week/this moment, but make sure you take notice of it all. Take notice of the giggles, the mess, from what to them was an awesome game, the moment when your baby is asleep in your arms. Feel the weight of them, remember the sensation of your arms being full, if only for a moment, before chaos descends again. Remember it all, for what is a raw, indelible experience for you, will be a mere haze for them, a feeling of how life was, with those weird details that they remember scattered around.
Take care of yourself. Try to eat well, but go easy on yourself. Have that extra cup of coffee, enjoy some cake. Brush your hair, if it makes you
feel better or don’t, if you couldn’t care less. Smile at someone, strike up a conversation, or hunker down in your own bubble. We are all different.
People aren’t going to tell you how fabulous you are, or what a great job you’re doing. It doesn’t work like that. It seems like the easiest job in the world, so many have done it before you and will after you and yet it the hardest thing you will ever do and so I say this to you. Mama, you’re rocking this thing. Just keep going and breathe.