Guest Post Day – You don’t have to say you love me….or do you?

This is a guest post from Linda at Got Your Hands Full Linda started blogging in 2006 to provide information for families with twins, triplets or more but these days she’s just as likely to be detailing how much her kids swear. (And it’s not always pretty.)

ONE of my favourite things to do on my blog is ask questions – either to satisfy my own curiosity (I’m a nosey old so and so) or to see how much my own experience – often as a parent – is similar to other people’s.
I was planning to raise one such matter this week so here I am doing it over at Mummylimited instead – thank you very much for the hospitality – and thank you to Erica ( for coming up with the intriguing idea. Beats videoing yourself doing the hoovering. 

My question is: How often do you say “I love you”?

Do you know what I think I must say it so often, it could be one  of my most commonly uttered phrases. I don’t think there’s a day goes by that I don’t say it.

I suppose the time to worry would be if I was saying it to the postman or the nice lady who hands me a Crème egg or six of an evening in the Co-op.
But I do sometimes find myself wondering if I say it too much.
Is such a thing possible?

When I tell one of my daughters I love her, she always replies with “Love you more,” while her sister smiles and simply repeats my words back. When I tell my partner I love him, he also says it straight back, like a patient who jerks their knee when clobbered with a small mallet. And of course I love it when he says it first.

Yet I wonder should I ration such expressions of affection?

Am I lessening their importance or setting my girls up for heartbreak in later life somehow by conditioning them to expect constant reassurance?

What a weird thing to worry about!

I also tell my friends I love them and there’s even a blogger I said this to today – by email you understand. But she said it first. So there. I’m not a complete sap.
Come on then, how about you – where are you on the tell-someone-you-love-them-ometer? Are you a shout it from the rooftops or grudgingly whisper it when pushed type of admirer/proud parent?

Seriously, I’d love to know. 

12 thoughts on “Guest Post Day – You don’t have to say you love me….or do you?

  1. Thanks Linda for a great post. I was only asking if it's possible to say it too much to Mini Mck the other day. I decided not, but I'm still not sure.Can't bear the I love you/love you too that I hear at the end of phone conversations between partners that's clearly said through habit/obligation. I think as long as you feel it at the time, why not say it.

  2. I think it's a beautiful thing to say…all the time, to everyone we do love. No-one can be told too often that they are loved. I don't think I've said it enough in my life.

  3. I say it to my husband and my children. I don't think you can say it enough. And I don't think you're conditioning your girls to expect reassurance. It's an empowering, unconditional thing to say to someone. My parents have never told me they've loved me, it's not the sort of thing you say in my family (sob, although the childhood issues coming out now 😉 ) Lovely photo!

  4. I'm really bad at saying it, I should really say it more to BG and my OH. My best friend was over yesterday and said it constantly to her little girl which reminded that I don't say it enough. I must try harder x

  5. I have just started saying it to the twins (six months old). It's not that I didn't feel it before, it's just that, now the days are getting easier, I'm starting to feel that rush of overpowering love every time I look at them. x

  6. I say it all the time. I'm dreading the day my eldest tells me to stop saying it to him in public – he's already eight so I thought I would have had to stop long ago. I make the most of every day I have left!

  7. Aren't we funny…the things we worry about! I don't think there can be any harm constantly telling your kids you love them. We need to squeeze those words in as many times as possible when they're little because when they go through the rotten teenage years we won't feel so inclined…

  8. Hi everyone – thanks for all your comments, yes it is a ridiculous thing to "worry" about isn't it? We can always find something! Carol don't compare yourself to your friend – do what you think's right! Muuuuummmmeeee I think you are right and I never thought of that!

  9. I say it all the time to Moo and hubbie. We even always sign off emails and texts to each other with it – Love you in my case, love ya in his. Yes, part of it is habit, but also part of it is just a little reminder in the middle of the normal day that someone out there loves you ;-)It's also not something we say much in our family, although now we've become adults, me and my sisters seem to be trying to say it more. In fact, I even remember a "game" with my mum where she used to bounce me on her knee whilst I said "tell me you love me" and she would say "of course I don't love you, why would I love you" etc. Which apparently I found hilarious – to start with – but which almost always ended up in tears!Talk about childhood issues…

  10. Always, ALWAYS say I love you.The last words Rich said to me were "See you later, Love you!" as he kissed me goodbye and left the house. That is a precious, precious thing to me.

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