My First

This post is written for Sleep is for the Weak’s Writing Workshop. I’ve chosen prompt #1 Tell a story of a ‘first’.

How do I choose one first to write about. The last 26 months have been full of them. There are too many and they are all too important for me to single one out. 

The first time I felt you move, like butterflies in my tummy, the first time I felt you kick, the first time I saw you kick and these are just a few ‘firsts’ that I experienced before I even met you. 

Since then they have come thick and fast, every day something new. The pace that you grow, learn and change is almost impossible to keep up with and so lightening fast that I’ve hardly been able to record it all. Some of it is blurred in my memory already. 

I cannot decide if it is a blessing or a curse, but you will always be the first. We will learn and experience your milestones together and it will be new for both of us. With you, I will never be quite sure what I am doing and each ‘first’ will send me into a spin of doubt, which of course, I will try my best not to let you see. We will be making it up as we go along. 

However, your ‘firsts’ won’t be contrasted with anyone else. I have no comparison to use. I have no knowledge, so will have to listen to you and be guided by who you are to help you grasp your ‘firsts’ with relish. You can forge your own path and I will try to be close enough to hold your hand but give you enough distance so you can let go when you are ready. 

You have already achieved so many of your firsts, but have so much more to come. Riding a bike, going to school, stamping your teenage foot, driving a car, drinking a beer and leaving home. I know they will all come too slowly for you and too quickly for me, but will we experience them together and you will always get to be my first.


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