I finally had a moment, one of pure joy and excitement about the new life that is growing inside of me.
I have been struggling to think of anything except how this baby will make everything much harder, how tired I will be, how the small bit of freedom I have will be gone and how it will change everything.
Of course I know that I want another baby and I know it will bring lots of good times but I had never really felt it but a couple of weeks ago I finally had a ‘moment’
As I climbed the stairs to go to sleep, my mind turned to something Mini Mck had done earlier in the day, something small and inconsequential, so much so that I can’t even remember what it was. Whatever it had been it made me smile and made me feel a rush of love.
Suddenly I stopped dead and my stomach flipped and I thought of the strength of love that I feel for my son, of how he makes me smile every day and something hit me hard, so hard that I sat down and my hands automatically rested on my stomach.
I realised, just for a moment, that this huge love that has touched my life is soon going to multiply with another child and how could that not be an amazing and great thing. I forgot the inevitable tiredness and challenges, or at least didn’t care about them and thought only of my next child how, despite how I may feel while pregnant, it will be loved and welcomed and I truly felt all the excitement and joy that I should feel and that until now has not been there.