Ready, but at the same time not ready at all

Having spent nearly all of this pregnancy wishing it to be over, last night a new panic suddenly gripped me. One I haven’t been able to shake since.

As if they had been projected in large red letters on the side of my house the words “4 WEEKS TO GO” screamed into my head, followed by the even more scary thought that it may not even be as long as that.

I am not ready and by that I mean we are not practically ready for a new person to enter the house. Surely with only four weeks left some parts of my house should look as if a new baby is due, but everything is the same as it’s been since Mini Mck arrived and the scariest part is that Mckdaddy has just had, what could be his last work break before D-Day.

Actually, things are not exactly the same. Mckdaddy has spent lots of time sorting out our garden while he’s been off, we’ve done a couple of car boot sales and got rid of loads of stuff and we finally built some storage in the cupboard under the stairs, meaning that all the toys are out of site, with room to spare. All of which will be helpful and lovely when the baby comes.

However, we have not sorted out the new baby’s room, there is a new carpet still to be laid, the freezer is empty and I haven’t even thought about what to put in a hospital bag. Not that I plan on using one, as would really like a home birth, so from now on will only refer to it as a ‘labour bag’. I can’t even remember what I had in it last time. I seem to recall having lots of stuff I didn’t need and not having things that I did need.

It is almost as if I have been so caught up with being pregnant that I have forgotten the reality that I am actually going to have another person to care for soon and I need to prepare myself for this new way.

Of course, you realise after having a baby that they don’t need as much stuff as you thought, but you do still need somewhere for them to sleep in, something for them to wear and something to cover their constantly pooing and weeing bottom.

I guess it is an emotional, mental thing rather than a practical thing. We have a crib, which will be in our room anyway, so a nursery is not essential. It will be nice to have a full freezer, but it isn’t vital. Still it feels as if these things need to be done.

I actually think putting my mind to some of this could be a good thing. Making lists and making it seem a reality could really help to get me excited, in a way that I’ve been unable to before. I long to see a line of teeny tiny babygros hanging on my washing line and have a room to wander into, imagining what is to come.

Besides, today I made a start. I bought two packs of newborn nappies….doesn’t that make me virtually ready? What was the best thing you did or wish you had done to prepare for your new baby?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s