Two and a half

Dear Mini Mck

For weeks now I’ve been wanting to write about you and what you are like now. I struggle to find the words  because recently I haven’t found you easy to get along with. Every time I tried to write my words didn’t express my thoughts and sounded too harsh. By writing with you in mind I hope I can say what I really think.

You are two and a half, well actually you are more like two and three quarters and still you manage to amaze me every day. You talk all the time and I love that we can now have proper conversations and that you can express your imagination so well. You are so interested in your brother and he is the first thing you ask about when you wake up. You want to hold his hand, to make him laugh, to kiss and cuddle him. If he cries you try to sooth him. If you hear me cry out because I have knocked myself or stubbed my toe you will come rushing through asking if I am OK. It makes me so proud.

Ever since you were a baby you have been strong-willed and stubborn. I understand how that feels, I am the same way. I know how it feels to want the world to be just how you desire it and the frustration that bubbles up when things don’t go your way. You are pushing boundaries and testing to see what you can and cannot do, trying to grapple as much control over your life as you can. I understand that too, but there are four of us in this family and we cannot always bend to your will, that’s not how family’s work.

Photo by Mckdaddy

As much as you love and care for Nano, you are also prone to lash out suddenly, or just be too rough with him. You sometimes do things that are deliberately mischievous, such as screeching to wake your brother or to frighten one of the cats. It upsets me to see the glee that you get from this and frustrates me that my words don’t seem to make a difference to you.

Your personality is big and you spirit is so strong, I don’t want to quash that in any way. I am precariously treading the line between letting you be the person you are and making sure you understand what behaviour is acceptable and what isn’t and frankly, I am finding it hard.

I tell myself that you show a whole range of emotions and characteristics and that as well as being single-minded and challenging, you show signs of care and love, but it isn’t always easy to keep this in mind, particularly when some around us seem to suggest that I should be doing more to clip your wings.

I’m sure you will simply grow out of these ways and will remain my beautiful, complicated, strong-willed boy. As I said you have been this way since the day you were born.

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7 thoughts on “Two and a half

  1. Why would you want to clip his wings. The world will try to do that naturally. I understand all your feelings as Mini is just the same as your lovely boy, tenacious, strong willed and hardheaded, but then so am I and I am turning out ok!

  2. This strikes a chord with me at the mo. L is only 17 months but I'm suddenly being not so subtly told how I should be treating her right now by in laws etc. I am quite happy picking my battles with her carefully rather than shouting No every time the poor thing moves…We'll get there. Keep going with your instincts. Nobody needs their wings clipped xx

  3. Note to self- don't read such lovely posts about your son when on lunch break at work, otherwise the kids with a class pass think you are loosing it and can't understand why you have tears in your eyes.

  4. Love this letter and its honesty. The pride and love comes through, despite the obvious frustrations. These are the sorts of posts I love to read – offering a wonderful insight into a child's character and into your family life. Brilliantly written. x

  5. So lovely to read and reminds me very much of my little one too. 2 1/2 and very strong willed since the day she was born! You sound like you are doing a great job in my opinion. I also sometimes feel like people feel I should "control" my little girl more but I love the love she has for life and all it's little details. Like disco snow and poking the cat in the eye (oops) 😉

  6. Recently I've been feeling like this about my youngest child. He's always been like this, but it seems to work better in a youngest child, as his older siblings are very forgiving of him (most of the time). But he's now at school and has to learn to interact with other children in a way that he often finds hard. He's bright and curious and very funny, but he can also barge his way into other people's plans in a way that they don't like. He wants to make friends, but doesn't always know how. I absolutely don't think you should try and clip MM's wings, you will find your way together, as we are doing and hopefully we'll end up with children full of character, who have also learnt to moderate their least sociable aspects.

  7. I love that moment when they are concerned that you are okay, for me it is a little reminder that we are the centre of their world even though it feels like they stomp over our feelings a lot of the time. Beautiful post about your beautiful boy and I love that picture, the perfect compliment to the post.

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