Regular visitors amongst you will know that I don’t do well with change or milestones and my children’s impending birthdays are a sure fire way to make me anxious. First Birthdays are particularly difficult for me. The baby stage speeds past in a blink and it is all such a tired, busy blur that you feel you have missed so much of it. Thank goodness that this time I have had the blog to record some of it, but still, I find it hard.
This melancholy tends to manifest itself in a lack of desire to do anything for the day and a total lack of enthusiasm and this time was no different. As the day approached I just wanted to put my fingers in my ears, shut my eyes tight and shout “LALALALALALALALA”
However, a conversation with a couple of friends made me realise that we spend an awful lot of time doing about what we think we ought to do, rather than what we want to do and that first birthdays are really as much about the parents as the baby, because, let’s be honest they don’t have a clue what is going on.
As I walked around the supermarket, filling it with kid’s style party food I realised I didn’t want a children’s party and that I didn’t have to have all the family over at the same time, something which just makes it all work for me and so I changed my plans.
Inspired my the many Jubilee preparations and also my default cake and scone mode, I decided that what I wanted to do by way of celebration was an old fashioned afternoon tea, with just Nano, Mini and my Dad and Step-mum. No stress, no other children just lots of nice, simple food and a big pot of tea. There was the odd nod in the direction of a child’s tea party with a proper jelly and some party rings, but there was also lots of nice china, a simple cake, with no garish icing and home baked scones.
I also realised that this wasn’t what Mckdaddy wanted to do and that he would like to join end of term drinks with his friends. I decided that I was fine with his choice and actually would rather go out for dinner, with just him to celebrate the fact that we had survived the last year.
I am so glad that I took a moment to really think about what I wanted and that I forgot what I ought to be doing, it was such a relief to have a quiet day. I can’t say there weren’t moments in the day when I felt wistful for the passing of my baby’s first year, but mostly I had fun and so did he.