When Nano Mck was the age that Lady Mck is now, I was two or three months away from running a half marathon. Which means I was running at least three times a week, specifically three mornings. I was fitter than I’ve ever been and more toned than I could imagine and most importantly it made me happier. Now, I can hardly run around the block.
I tell myself that I could only run in the morning at the weekends due to having a school run to do now. That’s rubbish. I could manage a 30min run and still enjoy my cup of tea in bed when I get back. I tell myself that I’m too tired, that this baby is harder than the last. That’s rubbish, well I am tired and this baby is harder, but really, how much more tired would I be if I went for a little jog two or three times a week, so it’s rubbish. I tell myself I have a niggley Achilles ache. That’s rubbish, it’s hardly a thing and with some excercises it’ll clear up. A bit of light running won’t harm it.
They are all just excuses. Made of smoke. Clouding the reality. The feeling of running. The quiet. The room to think and the fact that there is no need to think. The view across my city. Strong, steady paces carrying me round. The last bit of energy left to sprint the last hundred metres, as my house comes into view.
When i don’t look after myself everything slips. I don’t eat right or sleep early or feed my creative side. No blogging, little crochet. A messy house. I run on empty. I have a friend who talks about putting pebbles in our jar, filling ourselves up with the things that soothe us and nurture us, so that we have reserves to give to others. I need to get better at this. I need to realise it’s important.
So, tomorrow, I am dusting off the running gear. Those slightly beat up trainers that I’ve run maybe hundreds of miles in. I’m trying not to think of the before. Of the getting out of bed. Of being out of breath and heavy legs. It is half an hour, probably less. I am thinking of the amazing rush when you finish. The energy which carries you through the day. The heavenly post run shower and the even more heavenly post run cup of tea served with a smidge of smugness and I’m writing it all here so I don’t back out!