Last weekend I went to Blogtacular. I had been looking forward to it for months, actually since last year’s conference, which I couldn’t attend as Lady Mck was just too little. Recently I’ve been feeling a bit ‘meh’ about my blog and this was the perfect opportunity to immerse myself in it, really think about what I want it to be and where I want it to go, as well as catch up with old friends, meet new people that I find so inspiring and finally meet some bloggers that I feel I’ve known for ever, but have never actually met in full colour, Imax quality, surround sound 3D.
I did all of those things and more. I started the day with the totally inspiring and more importantly buckets of fun, photowalk with Xanthe Berkeley. Oh, how we moaned about the 5:30 get up and no coffee until we got to Waterloo and how wrong we were. Every Saturday should start with a photowalk with this bunch of women. To have people that ‘get it’ is just the most life affirming thing. People who will pose, not be offended that you are walking and talking while Instagramming and just embrace the fun of taking great photos was better than any caffeine, although the coffee from Pret was pretty good too.
I got myself a new girl crush on Marte Marie Fosberg who spoke so brilliantly on inspriration and creativity. She seems at first like someone who has always had her plan, always had it all together, but she so lucidly communicated how this hasn’t always been the case and that her road to living the life she always wanted was full of bumps and twists and times where she was just floating, but through it all her need to be creative pulled her in the right direction. Her food photography workshop was also amazing. Such a different style to the white background, light Instagram fare that we see. It was so refreshing and will certainly make me think about my photos differently.
The keynote speakers were fabulous too. Grace Bonney admitting that she still can’t quite come to terms with the death of blog comments and that the pace of change in our digital world scares her too was so reassuring and I want to write in more detail about what I took from Anthony Peters closing keynote, which was hilarious and moving and just wonderful, even thought he didn’t have me on his side for the whole thing.
It was busy of course. I didn’t speak to everyone I wanted to, didn’t speak to enough brands or use the Genius Bar (Kats – please have this again next year. I promise I will be armed with a list of questions x) but I left feeling full of positivity and enthusiasm.
Which brings me to why I called this post ‘The Aftermath’ because today this is how it felt. Today all the positivity seem to flip itself around. Suddenly I went back to the endless comparisons, the regret that I didn’t speak to enough people, the questioning myself about where I fit, where this is all going, what I want from it and how I feel I will come up short. It even crossed my mind to give it all up. Not quite the result I expected from Blogtacular.
Of course I won’t. I love my Internet, my space here and maybe it needs to change, grow with me. Maybe, I need to evolve. After wallowing self-indulgently for a while and a much needed and hughtly appreciated chat with a good bloggy friend who put me straight, I am going back to the positivity and inspiration that I felt on Saturday. I want this space to be here, to continue to grow it’s readership. I want to write more at The Mudpie Diaries, a project I am really passionate about that I haven’t been able to give the time to. All day on Saturday, as I listened to the amazing speakers, The Mudpie Diaries kept knocking on my sub-conscious, whispering “I am here. This is about me” So, watch this space, or actually that space.
As far as Mummy Limited is concerned I want to write more of the stuff that I feel strongly about, which incidentally is also the stuff that you like reading, but also I want to try some new stuff, be brave, do something out of my comfort zone and on that note, it feels that maybe being ‘mummylimited’ all over the internet doesn’t quite feel right anymore. Mummy Limited, the blog will always be here, but on other sites and apps I’d like to just be me, even my kids don’t call me Mummy anymore (yes, huge SOB about that). So, if you see emilyandmore, well, that’s me. I know to any normal person, this seems crazy to feel scared about this, but I have also been Mummylimited online and that’s now over five years. It’s part of my identity, so it’s going to feel a bit weird for a while.
Blogtacular was all kinds of amazing and to every person that I met and spoke to, or anyone who commented and liked my photowalk photos, thank you. I hope the aftermath brings even more amazing.