It feels a little wrong to start an ‘I love’ post with a caveat, but in this case it also feels wrong not to. Many of the things that I love about Nano, also, in the heat of the moment enrage and frustrate me. He was such a serene and easy baby and toddler, but for last couple of years he has been the one that gives me the most worry. The one who I feel I am failing. We are all trying hard to be better and I know this is a phase, albeit a rather long one, but for today I wanted to celebrate that stuff that often makes him hard to parent and I wanted to be honest about it. It could so easily be read and taken that I am a perfect zen mother, professing to love those things that we all know can cause conflict and frustration. Far from it. Love me when I least deserve it, as that is when I need it most is a Swedish expression that springs to mind with this boy. This is unashamedly blogging my highlight reel and I make no apology for that, because who shouldn’t be told they’re amazing to mark their birthday.
I love how gregarious you are. Settling into school this year has been a complete breeze for you. I love that as we walk through the playground, your classmates shout out your name. I love that parents always tell me that their child talks about you a lot. Everybody wants to be your friend. I love that you hug your friends, actually you hug everyone. You show your emotions, both good and bad.
I love how brilliantly you have taken to wearing glasses. Having been warned you might resist it complain, you have been a dream. I love that you chose them yourself and picked the best pair. They look so fab. I love how you dance, with a rhythm that you feel in your bones. You want to sing and dance and play. I love that you ask me everyday whether it is drama class day, even after starting months ago.
I love how you play with your sister. You take her along in your crazy ride of imagination and she follows you gladly. She does everything you tell her to do and you enjoy this to it’s full advantage, especially when the two of you are up to mischief. I love how you play alone, detailed, crazy games that just have to be finished before you can move onto the next thing.
I love how determined you are in everything you do. Nothing can stand in your way when you have an idea in your head. It doesn’t always fit with our family life, but I cannot help but marvel at your single-mindedness. Don’t lose that, it will help you through all of your life. I love that you don’t care what anyone thinks of you. For someone so young, you have a confidence at your core that I can only marvel at. These two things together make you different to other kids. You walk your own path or perhaps more accurately you run your own path.
I love your passion for knowledge. You love books about space and will ask questions for weeks afterwards and many times in different ways until you have a concept in your mind and yes, one day the world will explode, but no, you won’t be alive, so don’t worry about it. I love how clever you are, but that you hold back until you feel you will be able to do something. You were slow to start talking, but when you did the words came out strong and fully formed. You were slow to start drawing, but again it was like you were storing the information until you were ready to let rip.
I love how funny you are. You make us all laugh every day, your clever, quick mind entertains us. And when you laugh, you really laugh, an infectious giggle that turns into a cackle right down to your belly. Nothing is half measure with you, nothing.
Everything is big with you. You love fiercely, you rage strongly. You question big. You live in the moment and huge. You have no fear and you will not be told no. It makes being your parent a big job, but oh, my love, imagine a man who lives big, who loves big and who has his own mind and won’t be blown off his chosen course. A man who uses this stuff for good could live a big, amazing life.