Hello friends. It seems my intentions to start writing here again quickly fell by the wayside. I’ve been pondering whether 2018 is the year when I will finally say goodbye to this space. Every time I post now, I do feel that it just gets lost amongst the many other blogs that are around and I struggle with where and how to get people to read it. I know it’s not all about statistics, but if the audience is so small, I may as well just write a private journal. However, the thought of saying goodbye to this space always feels too difficult. Perhaps it will just fade away until I no longer think about posting.
How has your festive season been? I hope you’ve had the chance to spend it how you want to, whether that be turning the Christmas up to full tinsel, or just having some time to pause and rest and reflect.
I’ve realised that these in-betweeny days are my favourite. Every year I seem to struggle with the run up to Christmas. The hype starts too early for me. I feel this pressure mounting to get everything done in time. School and pre-school go crazy with lots of extra things to remember and Mckdad is around less because, of course his school also has lots going on. This year, was particularly challenging, mostly because I just wasn’t organised enough and didn’t start early or plan things. I’ve already decided that next year will be different. I will plan early. The advent calendar activities will be planned and not decided the night before they are due. Large family gatherings will be a meal out, rather than me feeling I should always host and put in so much effort and work.
However, now that is all done and I feel the whole family has been able to take a huge breath. This is really the only time of the year that we have few plans. We don’t embark on any house projects, or go away. Sometimes, I find that hard, to be doing nothing. I am a planner by nature. I’m not great at ‘wasting’ a day. However, I seem to have managed it this week. A little light tidying here, a load of washing to do there, but mostly I have been able to hang out with the kids a little and find pockets of time to pick up a crochet hook or the knitting needles.
One thing I will definitely be keeping in mind this year, is that it is OK to prefer this quiet, calm bit that falls after Christmas and that I am not failing at Christmas if I find the run up to it quite stressful. I feel this pressure to love it all, as that’s what I see everyone else doing. The pressure is entirely self-inflicted and I need to get better at thinking “they are them and I am me and that’s OK”. In fact, I need to get better at that is all aspects of my life. If I have any New Year’s Resolution, it is that.
Yes, I did say, crochet hook! I have been doing a little secret project for The Fibre Co. with my crochet, work hat on. I wondered if I would remember how, but the muscle memory is still there and I’d forgotten how satisfying it is to work on little motifs, repeating each step over and over again. I also have a sweater that is so close to being finished, I can almost feel myself wearing it. I have high hopes for this one and can’t wait to share it with you.
As this Twixmas time moves towards New Year, I naturally find that I am ready to start thinking about real life again. I begin to think about lists and work and being more organised. I really do need to up my game here. I found the last school term a struggle. As if I never really got into the swing of it. Everything felt last minute and really that just stresses me out. I already have the boys PE and swimming kits packed and today I must order the school lunches. That is a huge improvement already! I may even get the iron out before they go back, but let’s not get carried away, I still have family films to watch each afternoon and a few mince pies to finish off.
Happy New Year to all of you and hopefully I’ll be back soon…….or maybe not soon, but back at least.