We wake early here, usually before 6am. MM has always been an early riser, but he learnt from before he even left a cot to play with toys quietly or look at a book. Nano always used to sleep much later, but now he is the first one awake and we are finding it much harder to persuade him to stay quietly in his room and at the very least he will go to his brother for company. Once they are awake, I am awake. That’s just how it works, unless Mckdaddy gets up and takes them downstairs, then I could probably sleep until lunchtime.
At the weekend this time, the hours between 6am and 9am are so often wasted. Lazy mornings can be enjoyed and should be relished, but mostly I spend them feeling tired and annoyed that I am awake. I should just go to bed earlier and embrace this time. The rest of the family are usually fairly occupied doing their own thing and the baby is yet to make an appearance. I should reclaim this time for myself and so here I am, inspired by my friend Kelly, spending 15 minutes giving my poor neglected blog some much needed attention. I’m not quite sure how she gets a whole post written in 15 minutes, but I shall give it a go.
I am not sure why, but I am finding the whole blogging thing difficult at the moment, Gradually I have found that I am unhappy with what I am publishing here and that now I am getting in my own way. Spending too much time thinking about what others are doing and not enough just enjoying what has become a really important thing for me to do. I have been reading some lovely, beautiful blogs, but sometimes when we consume it becomes harder to create. Do you find that?
I wrote a post recently that still sits in drafts about giving everything in my life more attention. Concentrating on one thing, rather than flitting and thinking of ten other things. In it, I imposed rules on myself. At least one post a week and not written on my phone, while holding a sleeping baby and whilst this feels lovely to be typing on an actual keyboard and not doing anything else, it is unrealistic and unnecessary to impose such boring rules on myself. This is how it is. I still spend a lot of time holding a sleeping baby in one hand and an iphone in the other, so why not just accept this and make it work. It is not what I write on that makes me give something more attention, it is my attitude to it.
I am off to Blogtacular in a couple of months and whilst I am excited, I am also feeling that all those amazing creative people in one space will make me feel my contribution is inadequate. I am hoping that it has the opposite effect of inspiring me, that it gives me some direction and reignites my enthusiasm for this space.
My 15 minutes is up and Nano is asking me to help him play Monument on the ipad. Have you heard of it? Apparently Kevin Spacey plays it in House of Cards. It is such a great game and I am in awe of how my nearly 4 year old can work it out as well as, if not better than I can. This has been rather rambling and I hope that it gets across how I feel. What do you do when your confidence slips or you suddenly find that your blogging mojo has left you? How do you get that spark to return?
Ooh – no photo. That feels weird, but my 15 mins is well and truly up, but you can always follow me on Instagram. You will find me there more and more these days.